so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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