well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
