never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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