i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
