I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
