was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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