Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
