What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
