you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
