She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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