Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
