i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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