Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
