Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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