We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
tell me about the fingering
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
