Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
