Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I smell stomach acid.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
