i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
