Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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