Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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