And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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