ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
