I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
