Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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