Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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