He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he shaved USA in his pubs
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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