The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
