I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
