This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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