so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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