his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
