we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
