do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
