Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
