my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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