Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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