I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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