: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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