i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
