woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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