Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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