oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
