worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
