am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
