last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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