im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
