Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
