I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
