you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
