just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
