Just fell off a train. Bad.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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