we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Actions speak louder than pants.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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