He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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