hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
