What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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